Table of Contents Introduction Understanding Autism What is autism? Autism Symptoms & Diagnosis Child Autism Causes Are there accompanying disorders? Finding Help and Hope Is there reason for hope? Can social skills and behavior be improved? What medications are available? What are the educational options? Can child autism be outgrown? Can adults with autism live independent lives? Do families learn to cope? What hope does research offer? What are sources of information and support? Keeping on Top of Your Condition Resources

How Do Families Learn to Cope?

The task of rearing a child with autism is among the most demanding and stressful that a family faces. The child's screaming fits and tantrums can put everyone on edge. Because the child needs almost constant attention, brothers and sisters often feel ignored or jealous. Younger children may need to be reassured that they will not catch autism or grow to become like their sibling. Older children may be concerned about the prospect of having a child with autism themselves. The tensions can strain a marriage.

While friends and family may try to be supportive, they can't understand the difficulties in raising a child with autism. They may criticize the parents for letting their child "get away" with certain behaviors and announce how they would handle the child. Some parents of children with autism feel envious of their friends' children. This may cause them to grow distant from people who once gave them support.

Families may also be uncomfortable taking their child to public places. Children who throw tantrums, walk on their toes, flail their arms, or climb under restaurant tables to play with strangers' socks, can be very embarrassing. Janie's mother found that once she became willing to explain to strangers that her child has autism, people were more accepting. Paul's mother has learned to remind herself, "This is a public place. We have a right to be here."

Many parents feel deeply disappointed that their child may never engage in normal activities or attain some of life's milestones. Parents may mourn that their child may never learn to play baseball, drive, get a diploma, marry, or have children. However, most parents come to accept these feelings and focus on helping their children achieve what they can. Parents begin to find joy and pleasure in their child despite the limitations.

Support groups

Many parents find that others who face the same concerns are their strongest allies. Parents of children with autism tend to form communities of mutual caring and support. Parents gain not only encouragement and inspiration from other families' stories, but also practical advice, information on the latest research, and referrals to community services and qualified professionals. By talking with other people who have similar experiences, families dealing with autism learn they are not alone.

The Autism Society of America, listed at the close of this pamphlet, has spawned parent support groups in communities across the country. In such groups, parents share emotional support, affirmation, and suggestions for solving problems. Its newsletter, the Advocate, is filled with up-to-date medical and practical information.